"Suspicious characters - be the one to report them."

~ from a Singaporean bus poster.

Just got back from a trip to Melaka in Malaysia...much fun. Everyone said we would notice so much difference between Singapore and Malaysia and it's so true - you get across the bridge and it's so much more chaotic and dirty. Squat loos all the way.

We went across the bridge from Singapore and arrived in Johor Bahru in Malaysia, then got the bus to Melaka, 3 hours up the coast. Melaka is meant to be "the most interesting and important trading port in south-east asia" or something, which is why we picked it. It was brilliant, if a bit touristy - loads of rickshaws decorated with flowers. (We abstained). Lovely red buildings built by the Dutch, narrow streets with archways and balconies.

We travelled LIGHT. We left everything at my cousins' house (we're back here now). We didn't even take sleeping bags or towels, reasoning that the other hostels we'd stayed in had provided them. Mistake. We got to our hostel (which we found really easily, and which was AMAZINGLY cheap - $8/night each, which is about 1 pound. Haha!), sat down on the beds and realised there were no sheets or towels. Cue hysteria and a decision to stay up all night. We were staying in the dormitory which was an enormous attic room with ceiling fans, a rickety ladder-style staircase leading up to it, and 10 iron bedframes crammed in, with those stained, dirty guest-house mattresses. Ick.

We eventually resolved the sheets problem by buying some lengths of cotton in a fabric shop.

The hostel was lovely though, despite the grubbiness - it was a wooden building with lots of fancy windows and lattice-work. Nowhere in Melaka had air conditioning, whereas every building in Singapore does. The result is that, although it was hot, the buildings in Melaka had a lovely breeziness and openness that you lose when everything has to be shut up to keep the cool air in. The hostel also had a tiny swimming-pool...very picturesque though I wouldn't have fancied getting into it. It also had a bar (with room for about 4 barstools) and a TV room (4 chairs). It was an amazing place.

There were bats flying around. (It turns out that Vic is inexplicably, and uncharacteristically, terrified of bats). Also rats scavenging in the streets, and little lizards in our dormitory (though they were just cute and not scary). None of the roads had pavements, which combined with a multitude of motorbikes and scooters meant that it felt extremely dangerous to walk anywhere. In the evening we went to sit outside at a bar that was supposed to have live jazz (Well, ok, I misread the guidebook and told Vic that it had live jazz; later we realised that it had only promised live "music", and what we got was Hotel California being murdered by a couple of guys and a guitar) and were served by a ladyboy waiter. Much fun.

This morning we left the hostel to find that it's Malaysia national day, and pretty much everyone in town was processing down the streets: police, the army, students, musicians, a load of people in vintage cars, a load of people on motorbikes, a load of people on those cute mini-motorbikes...it was, um, moving.

Back in Singapore now for our last night, and so so knackered.

"I suppose it doesn't matter that much if we don't know where we are, as long as we know where we're going."

~Vic on navigation. Man, that is deep.

Today we explored Chinatown. We really explored Chinatown. By 7pm we were sitting at Boat Quay and planning to and see the largest fountain in the world (yep, that's right, IN THE WORLD!! and it's right here in Singapore) but then we realised that we were just way too tired, so we came home instead, which means that we may never see that fountain. I already regret it.

Chinatown was very fun, it was like a cleaner, tidier version of Hong Kong (complete with tailors trying to grab you and old men hawking up phlegm) which in turn is meant to be a cleaner, tidier and more capitalist version of mainland China. Interesting. We ate some mooncake, tried some "health" tea from a stall (oh boy. It was foul) and looked round 2 temples. The Hindu temples you have to take your shoes off to go inside. It felt kind of sacriligious to be wandering round taking photos because there were people in there really worshipping.

Yesterday was spent exploring Little India (it's all about the ghettoes in Singapore). We've also spent some time with my cousins who are really cool, and have incredibly important-sounding jobs. Peter's just gone to Hong Kong on a business trip, and Susan's flying to Mexico next week for a 2 day conference...crazy.

WOMAD

...was really fun. It was bigger than I expected and full of world-music goodness, and also some African drumming (which was good, it was nice to confirm my expectations). We saw an Australian singer-songwriter called Lior (sic) who was very cool and from Sydney, so I intend to be #1 fan/groupie when I move there; some fun Cuban and Malian bands; a Sri Lankan puppet show; an Indian sitar player - no, not just a player, a master; lots of other stuff. We also got massages (15 minutes head and shoulder massage for $12, which is about 4 pounds, so we were loving it), ate Spanish food, and managed to meet up with Marie, who is a friend of a friend of Vic and is very nice. She and her boyfriend have moved to Singapore!! (He's got a job teaching English here). So altogether, very good fun, esp. as I got in for only $26 thanks to my misdated student card which is still valid! yay.

There were lots of parents with children sitting around being cool. I want to be a hippy mother who takes the kids to festivals.

However, we let ourselves down by being ridiculously tired by about 11:30 and having to leave and catch the last bus home - we just weren't cool enough for the "groove tunnel" experience that started after midnight. My cousins are very disappointed in us for not staggering in at sunrise.

Incidentally we worked out that the cousin we're staying with is in fact my 2nd cousin once removed - there's a tenuous connection.

Hotmail sucks

(Vic's having problems).

My cousins got home, and they're lovely! relief. Their kids are really cute - Conrad is 5 months old and Lottie is 5. Conrad is such a fat calm baby. Vic and I had been hypothesising (racistly) that caucasian babies couldn't really rival Chinese babies for cuteness, but I think Conrad might be managing it. My mum had bought Lottie this tutu thing (which I carried to Hong Kong crushed in the bottom of my bag) and she loves it. She's very shy though, she still hasn't really managed to talk to us.
Last night we ate at the Victoria street hawker centre, which was so fun - a big covered square full of stalls where they sell all kinds of food - Chinese, Indian, Malaysian etc. Sitting outside in the evening in warm countries = the best.

We're staying in a palace!!

We're in Singapore and we're staying at my cousins' house. Oh my god, it's amazing...it's huge, and lovely, and they've given us their room which is ENORMOUS - we've got a double bed EACH and enough floor space for Vic to do handstands as well (always good). And an ensuite bathroom. And a balcony. It's just so luxurious compared to little hostel rooms and dormitories.

My cousins aren't around yet - they're on holiday in England and get back this afternoon. They have a nanny/maid who let us in - she's really nice and has been doing so much stuff for us, but we just can't really cope with it, not being used to that kind of thing. She did our washing and hung it out to dry! She set out breakfast for us! We've spent our time stammering inarticulately: "it's ok - thank you so much - no, we're fine..."

Singapore really reminds me of Barbados: same climate (it's so hot and humid), same size island...walking here (town) from Sue and Petes' house really made me feel like I was there. Really quiet streets with white houses and palm trees. Dogs barking in the distance. It's making me want to go to the beach, but apparently the sea around here is incredibly polluted. Weird considering how authoritarian the government is (the streets are so clean; there's a huge fine for dropping litter. No chewing gum under the seats; it's illegal. Ditto smoking in public places and pissing in lifts. Vic and I were drinking water on the train yesterday and realised we could probably get fined for it. Plus drug trafficking is punishable by DEATH, whoa). The political history of Singapore is pretty interesting. The government provides so much for the residents whilst at the same time restricting freedom of speech and controlling...everything. You can get fined for criticising the government here. I'm scared.

We're currently on Orchard Road, which is kind of the main street, lined by incredibly posh shopping centres and stuff. We've got a plan to go to see "Street Scenes" by the Singapore lyric opera, a jazz/opera thing tonight. Tomorrow we will hopefully be going to the Singapore WOMAD festival with a friend-of-a-friend of Vic's who we're trying to meet up with. (It's all about the connections for us here, apparently!)

World's largest (seated, outdoor, bronze) Buddha

I'm posting from the airport as we've made it here 2 hours before check-in time for our flight to Singapore. (We're not quite the blase 21st century travellers yet).

Yesterday we ate traditional Hong Kong chinese breakfast of congee - kind of rice porridge stuff with dumpling stuff. It was...interesting. The porridge tasted better when we put sugar on it, but then we thought the waitress was sneering at us so probably that was the wrong thing to do.

We spent our last night in Hong Kong at Ngong Ping on Lantau island, an area in the mountains which consists of pretty much just a giant Buddha up a huge flight of steps, a temple and the Po Lin monastery. The advert for the youth hostel that we stayed in says something like "if you think Hong Kong is just a concrete jungle, then you should come here", and it's so true; it was so different from Kowloon and Hong Kong island. Really mountainous and remote and felt so much more foreign.

We got there on a crazy bus journey up narrow mountain roads, and towards the end of the trip it started pouring with rain, a real tropical storm, and the bus started leaking and people were jumping up from their seats - it was hilarious. As it turns out, Vic has packed a waterproof jacket and a waterproof cover for her rucksack. I have neither of those things, so we stumbled into the rain and I rapidly got incredibly wet. This caused a moment of hysterical laughter which culminated in us purchasing some wide-brimmed, flat, straw Chinese hats like the tourists that we are. I felt like we were being ripped off, but then they only cost $30 (<3 pounds) each, so bargainous!! Also, the toilet attendant in the loo we were just in really admired them...or pointed and laughed. Whatever.

The youth hostel was pretty deserted except for some schoolkids camping and a couple of Buddhist monks...so I've now shared a bathroom with a Buddhist monk: something to cross off the list of "things to acheive before I turn 23". Vic encountered him in a semi-undressed state which has got to have been pretty exciting for everyone concerned.

We got up at 6am today to go on a sunrise walk in the forest. (The really hardcore people get up at 4 to climb the peak for sunrise, but we weren't really feeling the need). It was really misty, warm and beautiful. We found a mysterious circle of wooden posts with Cantonese writing carved on them, and a bird statue. There were lots of signs which presumably would have explained it all if we could have read them, but we couldn't.

Then we made it to the airport ridiculously early, on a bus full of Buddhist monks. We arrive in Singapore tonight. In some ways I think it will be so relaxing because we're going to be staying with my cousins, so it will be a)incredibly money-saving and b) really calm, no need to find hostels and lug bags around etc. However, I'm also kind of scared. I have met these cousins only once for one day last summer, so staying in their house could be intimidating. But they have little kids, and also a nanny/housekeeper, so hopefully it'll be incredibly comfortable and we'll get our washing done.

Putting the fun into funicular railway

(It really is spelt like that, that pun's not contrived at all!!)

Ticket crisis averted, thank the lord. It involved buying a $100 phone card and calling approximately a million different people, but eventually we tracked Qantas airways down to an office on Hong Kong island - which was convenient as we'd planned to go there today anyway. Score! We caught the ferry over from Kowloon (the ferry ride gives an amazing view of Hong Kong and is, like, a must-do type thing) and in our ticket-replacement quest, got to go inside one of the huge skyscrapers on Hong Kong island!! It was so much fun. The 24th floor. We found this really cute Qantas airways girl who took control and sorted stuff out, and got Vic another ticket printed. Hooray!! The relief.

Following that we spent a fun day on Hong Kong island, went up to the peak in the funicular railway to make Vic feel at home (they have one in Hastings too, but this was on a somewhat grander scale), wandered around alot and visited another temple. We burnt incense to the gods of literature and, er, war. oops. (We didn't figure out which was which til afterwards).

We've walked SO far the last 3 days. My feet feel like two lumps of PAIN. People in Hong Kong aren't really into sitting that much. We must have got moved on at least 3 times today for sitting on steps/walls/pieces of corporate art.

I found out from the guidebook that there is a film about one of the hostel-buildings right by the one we're staying in!!! "Chung King Express" or something, I think, has anyone heard of it? These buildings are just so huge, and full of various things - scummy hostels, less scummy hostels, tailors (there are so many tailors in Hong Kong dammit!), old women hanging out washing, money changing places, places that can get you a Chinese visa quickly, souvenir shops, restaurants. Ours has 16 floors and a big courtyard in the middle. It's amazing. And also somehow nothing like a shopping centre, though from my description that's what it sounds like. Oh well.

I'm wearing a money-belt, yep, you heard me...

Hong Kong is amazing. Today it was hot and sunny, we saw a Daoist temple and ate scary food (minor hysterical moment) so I think we're covering some essential tourist ground. The sheer amount of people here is crazy. And the buildings are so big. The building we're staying in is like a whole street, or a whole block, just by itself.

Crisis #2 (actually 2 & 3 but I'm trying to think of it as one) occurred today when we staggered back into our "room" [read: windowless tiled cell, but we love it and we're keeping it for the next 2 nights] and checked our tickets for our flight to Singapore, only to realise that a) we should have called to confirm them 72 hours in advance and we hadn't done it yet (we fly on thursday) and b) Vic doesn't have a ticket. Yep. The fucking BA check in lady took her Hong Kong/Singapore ticket on Saturday, leaving her Heathrow/Hong Kong ticket intact. What the fuck??!! How did nobody notice this throughout check in? You thought airport security was good post 9/11? Think again...
or maybe it's just easy when you're two white girls.

So we phoned STA in London (the time difference is so convenient!) and they said that these things happen, we need to call the airline. Can't do that til 9am tomorrow...so we just have to hope that it's ok, and also that it's ok that we haven't confirmed our flight.

Ah well. I like Hong Kong. If we have to stay here a bit longer...so be it.

Oh my god, we're in Hong Kong

We're safely in Hong Kong so it's all cool. It's 8pm local time and I'm feeling totally jet lagged and confused after not sleeping at all on the flight. (It was cool though, I watched "Priscilla, Queen of the Desert" to get me excited about Australia and it totally worked...though it also made me regret that I will not be travelling with drag queens or Guy Pearce). We're trying to stay awake until a reasonable bedtime and beat the jet lag, so we're just wandering round a bit dazedly and feeling confused.

People kept telling me that you can't predict what will happen when you're travelling, and that your plans will get messed up and you have to just relax and go along with it. Well, for our first night in Hong Kong we DID have a plan. We knew where we were going on the bus, which hostel we were going to and which giant Buddha-statue we were going to see. We got out of the airport and were doing so well, succeeded in finding the first bus to Tung Chung, all so successful. After lots of wandering around we located the next bus stop, only to find a sign pinned to it saying that the road was closed and so...no buses. Damn.

We actually managed not to collapse in tears, and after loads more wandering around we got organised by an amazingly friendly woman who just chose us a place to go, took us to the metro, helped us buy tickets and saw us onto the train, it was wonderful...it's such a cliche that people outside of the UK are more friendly but they really truly are! We've only been here a few hours and we've had so much help!

Now we're in Kowloon (plan B) and have found ourselves a room in a hostel inside an enormous complex. Admittedly the room has no windows but it's totally clean and it's just so nice to be able to put the bags down.

It's all warm and humid and Hong Kong looks exactly like it does in pictures. There's just so many people.

Introduction

I have created this blog in order to minimise the number of long, homogenous group emails that I send whilst away: instead of all those jealousy-inducing "yeah, it's really hot, I saw this temple, bla bla bla" emails I can just send a link, and you can read all that stuff here.